My sister has been under the weather. That’s an understatement. She’s been hit with a whammy and feels like a Mack truck has been treating her like a speed bump it’s testing its shocks on. Which is one of the reasons I’ve been quiet online. I’ve been to visit her in the ER, curled up in bed with her to nap another day, and today have been taking her for CT Scans and other various appointments.
It’s life, one doctor’s appointment at a time.
It sucks.
Not for me. It sucks seeing my sister going through the unknown. We have a pretty good idea of what’s going on with her, but until she see’s a myriad of doctors including her cardiologist, neurologist, gastroenterologist, it’s still all up in the air. And the crap thing is, she has to see all of them as what they think is going on relates to all of those systems.
The not knowing what’s going on for certain is difficult at best. It’s the fear of the unknown. That fear is one that grips you, trying to control you, while you’re struggling to keep your head up and not hate the world for the pain and misery you’re in.
Whee? That’s about all you can say.
Wait. It does suck for me. I hate this for her and wish I could take it all away and suffer for her. This is my only sister. My baby sister. The one I tried to boss around for years on end. I never thought we really liked each other. Turns out, we just see ourselves in each other and I think that makes us both uncomfortable. It’s hard looking at the person who you want to love on you and they give you the cold hard facts, even when those facts come from a place of love.
Maybe it’s been hard for us to get along because of our very apparent differences. But even our differences aren’t that different. Well, she doesn’t drink coffee, which means she’s just weird. Then again, I don’t have her ability to remain cool when dealing with assholes. I’m a Scorpio, and we know how water signs are, and she’s a Virgo. We have astrological differences that cause some of our issues. She’d tell you, that I’m the weird one now.
But yeah, right now, she’s living one doctor’s appointment at a time. Shuttling from place to place, living from one appointment to the next. I’ll be shuttling with her, as often as I possibly can — which is whenever she calls me to come up.
She’s my baby sister. I’ll move mountains for her, just to see her back on her feet… even if she wants to stick one of them up my rear when I’m back on my older sister box.