Vince Guaraldi is playing on Spotify, a cup of coffee sits on my desk growing cold as I lose myself in thought this morning. I’m thinking about what I’ve learned for the 23rd installment in this series.
1. Grief never fully leaves. My friend Gina was diagnosed with breast cancer and it brought back the waves of pain from losing people I’ve loved deeply due to this horrid disease, causing me walk around like a zombie for a day before pulling myself together. The feelings were raw, palpable, and instead of fighting them, I chose to let them be present.
Those feelings still linger a week later. But breast cancer has touched too many people I know and affected their lives. As someone who is an empath, I feel it much more profoundly. It’s also brought up other forms of grief, which I’m learning to cope with.
2. Signs are everywhere. Most people would say that is complete hokum, but it’s true. I’ve ignored so many signs sent my way. Signs that I should have heard loud and clear, but I willingly ignored them. I’m not sure what that says about me, but it does say a lot about fear and the various forms it takes.
That being said, I take the signs at face value and try not to read deeper meaning into them. I’m not sure what my purpose is here on this Earth, but I’ll take what is sent my way and graciously accept it.
3. It’s okay to let people go. I didn’t like this lesson and it’s one I’m still learning. Letting people is much more difficult than being let go. I am much more insular and prone to hide from other people based on how they have treated me. It’s a cynical view of human nature, but I would rather have my cynicism and fewer friends, than people who are only in my life for their own personal gain. I’m too old for faux friends and the older I become, the less I suffer fools.
4. Time away with your spouse/partner is essential. As this post publishes, I’ll be in Charleston with my husband to celebrate our birthdays’ and my mother will be at my home with my Grandmother and The Kid doing things all Southern Grandmothers do — cleaning my house and spoiling my kid.
Tony and I haven’t had a lot of time away to reconnect over the past 16 years. How much is not a lot? I can count the number of days on one hand. Our families live far away, and that type of help hasn’t been available to us. This trip was planned over a year ago due to my Mother’s work schedule as a medical professional. I’m looking forward to taking long walks, drinking bottles of delicious wine, and being the goofy person that I never allow anyone to see.
I’ll stop here, since my birthday edition of “What I’ve Learned” published yesterday. Happy weekend, friends.