I struggle writing what I’ve learned some weeks. Not because I have nothing to say, but it’s because I have so much to say. Some of the lessons are new and raw and I can’t share if I haven’t learned anything. Let’s just call it a safety mechanism for all of us.
So what have I learned?
I learned that I need to have more faith in my abilities and, by default, me. Believe me, this is a lesson that has been years in the making. YEARS.
You see, I struggle writing many days because of raging impostor syndrome. I sit and look at the screen and ask myself “Why are you writing this if no one is going to read it, or care.” But there is one person who does care and I have to look at that person every single day in the mirror. Believe me, there are days when I’d like nothing more to have a passionate outburst like you see in the movies and throw my whiskey glass at the mirror and bust it, but there are huge problems there. One, that’s a waste of whiskey. Two, that’s a busted mirror, 7 years of bad luck, and a myriad of other issues. Three, I’m just not that dramatic.
That being said, I took a chance on me. I’m signed on as a new digital freelance contributor to the Atlanta Journal Constitution — you’ll find me writing in the homes section. I brushed off my resume when they sent out the call and took a chance. It’s a nice opportunity to write in a different way and flex those rusty skills. Honestly, I was surprised at the clips I do have and those that bit the dust long ago due to age or online magazines closing down or changing format.
I’m also writing a monthly column over at TechSavvyMama on teens and technology. I have a teen, but I’m not a parenting blogger, and have things to say. Leticia gave me the opportunity to open myself up and share all of the experiences I have as the parent of a teen and gives her audience an opportunity to see what they have to look forward to.
This coming week I’ll be short on words as I’m heading to the Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop in Dayton, Ohio. I also have a lot of work to do in a short amount of time before I head out, so I can’t guarantee there will be a ton of writing published here, but I’ll be writing.
There are other things I’ll share that I’m doing on down the road, but for now I can sit here and say “I believe in me and I believe in the words I write.” Is it because others believe in me and like what I write? There may be a little bit of that, but it’s mainly because I stood in front of the mirror and had a long talk with myself. You see, I don’t write because I want fame and fortune. I write because I have to. No matter where I’m writing, I’ll always have an audience — me. And if I don’t believe in me, then how can I believe in anything else?